MDL

At some point, and it's a little different point for everyone I think, derby changes a little.  There come a point when you stop making progress in leaps and bounds. Instead of the thrill of a great practice that has you jamming out to great music on the drive home, you think about the things you're not nailing, the things you're having trouble with. You worry about passing tests, and whether you'll make the team. Instead of looking forward to every practice, there are some nights that you really just want to go home and sit in the bathtub.

But it's still amazing.  And it's still fun to keep pushing yourself to get better. If I don't make the team, I'll ref, but I'm not giving up on making the team either.  I need a 3 or better on skills with a pack (I feel like I'll do okay on these--some of the hits I'm a little leery about landing, but I think it'll be good over all), and I need to get my time to 5:15 or less, which I can do if I don't fall. The written test I'm not worried about.  I've got it down pretty well--it's something I'm much more confident about. I can control whether or not I memorize rules and learn the ins and outs of the game; I can't always control whether I fall on my ass or not (other than working myself as hard as possible, working every practice on my weaknesses and technique so that even when I'm tired I've got good form).

Being in derby has given me the support I needed to be my own person, and to do some things that I have needed to do for years.  And I would never have gotten up the courage if it hadn't been for joining derby. It really is an amazing thing to be a part of.

Much Derby Love

After a derby road trip and what feels like an epic fail at practice tonight, I am more thankful than ever for my derby family. These gals are saving my life one small step at a time.


Although I missed out on the post-bar-closing strip club trip due to a dead car battery, this weekend's derby road trip was fabulous.  These girls are the best family ever!  They volunteer to hold your non-existant hair if you throw up (luckily not necessary thankfully), they laugh with you, party and dance with you, and love you no matter what.


I don't know what I'd do without these women; they really are life-savers.  As I gear up for the impending changes, I can't believe how lucky I feel to be part of such an amazing group of strong women.


The only downside of derby I can think of are my shrunk boobies (which are totally worth being back to my skinny high school jeans).

Minimum Skills Test Part 1: The Results

After the fantastic We Survived Derby Boot Camp Part 1 party this weekend, it was time to get my head back in the game and think about what needed to improve on my minium skills.

We got our score cards back last night, and I did better on a lot of things than I though, but I was surprised about a few.  I only got a 2 (out of 4, with 3 being "proficient") on side stepping, which was silly on my part because I didn't know to keep my eyes forward instead of down.  I also wasn't careful enough to avoid using my hands on my knees getting up from 180 knee turns, which is careless on my part as well.

I need an average of 3 to pass, and am at 2.8 right now.  If I improve 3 points, I'm good.  That means shaving 13 seconds off my time (which I feel good about if I get pusher wheels in time), and improve 2 other things by at least a point (side stepping and 180 turns should be easy-peasy--and possibly T-Stops since I've been forcing myself to use these to stop exclusively), I'll be golden.  Fingers crossed--I've got 3 weeks to get it right.

On a brighter note, I've got some derby coloring to do, which I'm excited for--although I'm making myself wait until I'm done grading papers to reward myself.  If you wanna get in on the fun, and possibly win some Wicked derby gear, you can download your coloring sheet too!

Also, nationals this weekend were pretty rad.  I only REALLY closely watched the final two matches, but I had all of the bouts on whenever I was home.  The final game was a nail-biting, edge of your seat, rock your socks off game.  SOOOO good.

Minimum Skills Test Part 1

Uuuuuuuuh.  I'm so nervous and tired!  The first part of minimum skills testing (see Appendix A if you're curious) is tonight for the last third of the girls who have been at bootcamp so far.  I'm not sure whether it's good or bad to have to wait 'til now to test (extra time to squeeze in practice, but extra time to worry too).

A bunch of us went to adult skate night this week to brush up, and got scolded like naughty children.  (We were doing stuff we weren't supposed to apparently).  It made me feel a little better, because I got more time on my skates, and more time with my new wheels.  Plus, we went for drinks after, which was fun.  We were all really nervous about testing, and it was good to get together and vent.

I'm still worried about my T-stops, and after the extreme failure from my crappy wheels last time we tried the 5 minute test, I'm not entirely confident about that part either.  Hopefully I'll do well enough on everything else that the few things I'm not as good at won't keep me off the team.

I know I've only been in derby for a 6 weeks or so, but it has become a part of who I want to be.  If I don't make it, I'll still be as involved as possible, but it just won't be the same.  I'm in the best shape I've been in since high school, I've made a lot of awesome friends, and I'm just not ready to give that all up.

I don't want this to be my last derby bruise!

I guess rather than worrying, I should strap on my skates and practice my T-stops for a while.  At least that way I'll feel like I'm doing something.  Hopefully my wood floors will forgive me from using them like a roller rink.

There's No Crying in Derby; Or, Some Nights are Taco Bell Nights

Tonight's practice was really frustrating.  I got my new skates a week ago Tuesday (yay!?), and have been messing with them ever since.  First I took my trucks off all the way, and tightened them down equally all around, and that was a miserable failure because the front and back weren't even and I was wobbling all over.  I got them tightened down, but I'm catching on something when I try to skate fast/do crossovers.  I'm not sure if my toe stops are the culprit or something else, but it was awful.  I've also been struggling with my feet going numb (lacing my skates too tight).  I'm starting to figure out how to lace them better (looser in the toes/middle, tighter, but not too tight, at the top/ankle-ish part).  They're not the magic answer I thought that they would be to rental skates, by any stretch of the imaginiation.

What I expected when switching to my Dashes, was that I would instantly have beautiful form and go 5x faster.  The truth is, I feel more awkward, and have a hard time getting into derby stance because my skates don't feel as smooth/comfortable, which makes me go slower.

We did a 5 minute test tonight, and I fell 3 times in the first 30 seconds.  Once I slowed myself down significantly, I didn't have that problem as much, but it was AWFUL.  And there were tears of frustration, but I was totally NOT crying.

So, in the face of that, despite my feelings earlier in the week that I was looking super hot from all the derby workouts, I decided to stop at Taco Bell on the way home and procure some buuuuuu-riiiiii-tos.  And Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes, which I haven't had in forever b/c they're not at all good for you, and I'm lactose intolerant.  It's gonna be a good night.

If You Forget Your Panties, It's Not a Huge Deal

This week of derby boot camp started out feeling a bit brutal.  I was really excited that my skates were coming in, but it turns out, they're still in mail limbo.  That and my difficulty with one knees falls on Wednesday (which I blame on the rental skates, but if I'm honest I think are a little because I need to be doing more lunges) had me in tears almost by the time I got home.  It wasn't just feeling like a complete derby failure, it was a combination of less than ideal performance coupled with an uber stressful week.  Major projects due on all of my classes, papers to grade hanging over my head, not enough hours in the day.

But the week ended on a high note.  We retested on our 5 lap tests on Thursday, and I improved my time by 8 seconds (even in the crappy rental skates!).  I'd like to think this is partly attributable to my first night of enough bravery to rock my new purple Skinz, (fondly known as the "shiney hiney" in derby) sans skirt or anything else covering them, to practice.  The night left me feeling a lot better about things--and more confident that I have a chance of passing the minimum skills test that's rapidly approaching.

We also started what I think will be weekly rules class, which is fab.  I can always shine when it comes to tests involving the written word.  It's what I do.  And the ins and outs of derby (like what happens if you forget your helmet panties, or who wears the helmet panties, or what's a pack, etc.) are fascinating to me in a way that other organized sports are not (and way more full of innuendo, let's just be honest).  Plus, I think I impressed the derby gal teaching us noobs with my questions about some of the finer points of derby that I had been wondering after last weekend at regionals (like the practice of taking a knee before the bout starts to create a no pack situation).

All in all, I'm left feeling optimistic, but shamed into doing more lunges on off days.

Amber Waves of Pain: 2010 WFTDA South Central Regional Playoffs

This weekend I was lucky enough to get to attend Amber Waves of Pain in Lincoln, NE for one day.  We saw some amazing bouts, got some sweeeeeet gear, and hung out with some great fans.  I wanted to share some highlights (including my personal best of list of derby names from this weekend), and also share some links I've found in the last week or so that I think are pretty invaluable.

First: The best intro ever!  (Also the opinion of one of the announcers who's been involved in derby for 6 years).  Houston and Tampa had a dance off in lieu of the traditional skate around or stationary intro, which was amazing!  Words cannot describe it.  There's obviously a lot of love between these pink and black teams.  I hope someone posts a video of this on YouTube (I'll be watching and post a link if that happens).

The best of names list (in no particular order other than they are grouped by team):
Frieda Killigan (25-Life)
Ram ‘em Noodles
--Tampa
Anna Wrexx-It (Size 0)
Princess Lay-Ya Flat
Drop Kick Muffy
--No Coast
Jekyll and Heidi
Hot for Teacher
--Houston
Miley Virus (28 Days Later)
--Dallas
Britches and Hose
--Nashville
Merchant of Menace
Queen Loseyateefa
Amelia Scareheart
--Atlanta Dirty South

REFs
Conan the Vegetarian
The Panti-Christ

For a complete list of derby names (which are only awarded to team members, refs, coaches, and occasional other supporting members who meet specific qualifications, and must be unique) see go to http://www.twoevils.org/rollergirls/.

Some other links of note:
Official Magazine of Derby (you can download their first issue as a .pdf):http://fiveonfivemag.com/
Official Ouchy Care of WFTDA:http://www.drhauschka.com/rollerderby/ (homeopathic, natural, good for you and they work!)
Great tights/leggings: http://www.welovecolors.com
Used skates and other gear from fellow derby girls who have moved on or moved up: Second Hand Roller Derby
Hand-made Customizable Toe Guards: http://www.etsy.com/shop/BabyBitch and http://www.etsy.com/shop/derbyvixen
I got myself some some this weekend (unofficial booty wear of derby): http://derbyskinz.com/ 
(They make custom stuff, including non-derby gear--my hubby might have them make him a motorcycle helmet to boast of his derby widow status.)
I also got some orange toe guards and fun multicolored polka dot on black skate laces from http://www.derby4all.com/

Derby Inuendo 101: If you lose your nuts, you lose your trucks!

Our Skates 101 demo proved that even grown women can enjoy some dirty jokes. "Some girls like 'em loose, some girls like 'em tight" caused a cacophony of giggles, although slightly delayed compared to the reaction to all the talk about nuts.

Last night we got a break from the brutal off skates cross-fit style training, and got a lesson from one of the vets on how to care for (and upgrade!) our skates. It was really cool to learn all the ins and outs of skates that don't have Fisher Price or Barbie decorations (I disassembled a few of those in my day), but it mostly made me even more frustrated that mine haven't arrived.

For more helpful tips, check out http://missmisery101.blogspot.com/

The skate order (which the league put together for a pretty substantial discount for us, which is awesome) got hung up at customs and still hasn't arrived. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to have to use the rental skates for practice. They absolutely suck--I feel like I'm going to fall over when doing crossovers at full speed, they smell like someone peed in all of them, and they make it really difficult to do a lot of the things we're learning. Plus it makes it hard for me to accessorize appropriately if I can't see them before choosing my laces, toe guards, etc.

We learned baseball/figure four stops tonight (think sliding into home base), which are sort of ouchy on the hip. I imagine they were even worse for the handful of girls who didn't have tights on--I'm betting there are a few girls nursing rink rash this morning. This stop is not nearly as fun as the Rock Star, or even the four point fall. At least on those you get to slide on your knees (where there is adequate padding). :P

Nothing's Sexier than a Bunch of Girls Grabbing their Vags (or Girls have Groins Too)

Boot camp tonight was rough on a lot of us. There were many limpy girls hobbling off the track by the end of the night with various ailments. My knee tells me that it's gonna rain (or maybe that it's just not happy with all of the lunges, one knee falls and the likes), and I managed to pull my groin in a way that hurts from my, well, groin all the way down to my mid calf. I've got the ice pack on it, but I'm not sure how much good it's doing (a good bendy ice pack is a highly recommended derby accessory). Hurts so good.

I think a lot of us were lured into a false sense of security after the weekend of recovering. "One knee turns were easy," I thought to myself over the weekend, reveling in dreams of derby glory. "And I really nailed those crossovers!" (Yeah, I know, I already talked about those, but I'm still stoked.) But the reality of derby practice is if you don't keep your skate close to your knee on one knee falls, you'll pull your groin muscle. And if you don't sit back on two knee falls (aka rock star falls), you can take a lot of the impact in your elbows and shoulders (more aches and pains).

One of my favorite things about derby is the excuse to wear all of my crazily colored tights (and of course the excuse to buy more), although I'm gonna have to invest in some more clear nail polish, because the velcro on all of the pads is not kind to them. "Grown ups" are typically expected to stick to neutral colors when it comes to tights, but I really love bright colors, and funky patterns. The weird looks I occasionally draw from people when I show up at work wearing neon green tights don't deter me from busting them out, but it's a rare treat to get to accessorize them with short shorts and a neon rainbow I heart San Francisco t-shirt.

Despite all of the injuries, derby is still pretty rad. I'm closer to figuring out crossovers the "wrong" way (left footed ones), and I felt the same level of pumped-ness leaving. Tonight I was ready with some Ace of Base loaded on my iPod to rock out old school on the way home! I'm going to have to start constructing the ultimate post-derby playlist. Any suggestions?

Week One: The Beginings of my First Derby Bruise

Today marked the successful completion of my first week of roller derby boot camp. I am so stoked that I rocked the car dance on the way home (which is fairly uncharacteristic of me). I've learned a few things this week:

1. No matter how excited you get about roller derby, don't go out and order skates on eBay unless you know what you're doing, or can get advice from someone who does. Otherwise, you'll end up with skates that don't fit (mine are a size too big) and that don't work (my bearings won't tighten up enough that the wheels don't wobble, which means skating one lap takes as much effort as it should take to skate five).
2. Core strength is your friend. The first week of boot camp you will hurt no matter what, but the more core strength (and leg strength) you have going into it, the better off you will be. Yoga is a big help with this stuff, as well as lunges, squats, and twisty sit ups.
   
3. It's just as important to celebrate the little successes as it is to push yourself to improve weaknesses.

Starting derby has been a complete whirl-wind for me. I randomly decided to find out how to get involved in derby because of a number of things: first, I met some of the derby girls a few years ago at a community event, and they seemed totally awesome; then I came across a story in Bust magazine (one of my fav things) when catching up on my "for fun" reading; the final straw that pushed me to find out more about it was watching Whip It (lame as that may sound) while I was home alone one weekend and feeling pretty down.

It turned out that there was a recruitment night about a week away from when I found out, so I started Googling, found out as much as I could, and dove right in, reading up on the basic rules and watching bouts (derby speak for a game) online. I also made sure to catch the last bout of the season for our girls, which was AWESOME. I have never been even vaguely interested in watching, let alone participating, in a team sport before. Derby just brings out the sports fan in me though.

I'm really excited to be a part of such an awesome community of women. Ever since my best friend moved out of state, I've been feeling very...well, I'm not sure how to put it. There's just something that's different about the relationship between women and the relationship between a woman and a man (although my hubby is fantastic and supportive and I couldn't ask for a better one).

Derby has already boosted my confidence about my body (a problem I've struggled with ever since puberty, like pretty much every girl since the big bang), and I feel like I'm getting into great shape in a really fun way.

I want to end this first post in the spirit of #3 above, and celebrate the fact that I finally figured out how to do crossovers tonight!!! (when I finally stopped thinking about them so hard--although counter clockwise/left side crossovers are still a mystery to me), but I am having a miserable time figuring out T-stops. Something about stopping, in any sport, has always been tough for me, be it ice skating, roller blading, skiing, etc. I just favor the "run into something" method, which won't fly in derby.

p.s. The derby bruise alluded to in my post, is located on the right side of my bum, which has resulted in my sitting in a really funny way for the past few days. You're supposed to fall forward (onto all the pads you're required to wear), but you can't always make that happen.