There's No Crying in Derby; Or, Some Nights are Taco Bell Nights

Tonight's practice was really frustrating.  I got my new skates a week ago Tuesday (yay!?), and have been messing with them ever since.  First I took my trucks off all the way, and tightened them down equally all around, and that was a miserable failure because the front and back weren't even and I was wobbling all over.  I got them tightened down, but I'm catching on something when I try to skate fast/do crossovers.  I'm not sure if my toe stops are the culprit or something else, but it was awful.  I've also been struggling with my feet going numb (lacing my skates too tight).  I'm starting to figure out how to lace them better (looser in the toes/middle, tighter, but not too tight, at the top/ankle-ish part).  They're not the magic answer I thought that they would be to rental skates, by any stretch of the imaginiation.

What I expected when switching to my Dashes, was that I would instantly have beautiful form and go 5x faster.  The truth is, I feel more awkward, and have a hard time getting into derby stance because my skates don't feel as smooth/comfortable, which makes me go slower.

We did a 5 minute test tonight, and I fell 3 times in the first 30 seconds.  Once I slowed myself down significantly, I didn't have that problem as much, but it was AWFUL.  And there were tears of frustration, but I was totally NOT crying.

So, in the face of that, despite my feelings earlier in the week that I was looking super hot from all the derby workouts, I decided to stop at Taco Bell on the way home and procure some buuuuuu-riiiiii-tos.  And Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes, which I haven't had in forever b/c they're not at all good for you, and I'm lactose intolerant.  It's gonna be a good night.

If You Forget Your Panties, It's Not a Huge Deal

This week of derby boot camp started out feeling a bit brutal.  I was really excited that my skates were coming in, but it turns out, they're still in mail limbo.  That and my difficulty with one knees falls on Wednesday (which I blame on the rental skates, but if I'm honest I think are a little because I need to be doing more lunges) had me in tears almost by the time I got home.  It wasn't just feeling like a complete derby failure, it was a combination of less than ideal performance coupled with an uber stressful week.  Major projects due on all of my classes, papers to grade hanging over my head, not enough hours in the day.

But the week ended on a high note.  We retested on our 5 lap tests on Thursday, and I improved my time by 8 seconds (even in the crappy rental skates!).  I'd like to think this is partly attributable to my first night of enough bravery to rock my new purple Skinz, (fondly known as the "shiney hiney" in derby) sans skirt or anything else covering them, to practice.  The night left me feeling a lot better about things--and more confident that I have a chance of passing the minimum skills test that's rapidly approaching.

We also started what I think will be weekly rules class, which is fab.  I can always shine when it comes to tests involving the written word.  It's what I do.  And the ins and outs of derby (like what happens if you forget your helmet panties, or who wears the helmet panties, or what's a pack, etc.) are fascinating to me in a way that other organized sports are not (and way more full of innuendo, let's just be honest).  Plus, I think I impressed the derby gal teaching us noobs with my questions about some of the finer points of derby that I had been wondering after last weekend at regionals (like the practice of taking a knee before the bout starts to create a no pack situation).

All in all, I'm left feeling optimistic, but shamed into doing more lunges on off days.

Amber Waves of Pain: 2010 WFTDA South Central Regional Playoffs

This weekend I was lucky enough to get to attend Amber Waves of Pain in Lincoln, NE for one day.  We saw some amazing bouts, got some sweeeeeet gear, and hung out with some great fans.  I wanted to share some highlights (including my personal best of list of derby names from this weekend), and also share some links I've found in the last week or so that I think are pretty invaluable.

First: The best intro ever!  (Also the opinion of one of the announcers who's been involved in derby for 6 years).  Houston and Tampa had a dance off in lieu of the traditional skate around or stationary intro, which was amazing!  Words cannot describe it.  There's obviously a lot of love between these pink and black teams.  I hope someone posts a video of this on YouTube (I'll be watching and post a link if that happens).

The best of names list (in no particular order other than they are grouped by team):
Frieda Killigan (25-Life)
Ram ‘em Noodles
--Tampa
Anna Wrexx-It (Size 0)
Princess Lay-Ya Flat
Drop Kick Muffy
--No Coast
Jekyll and Heidi
Hot for Teacher
--Houston
Miley Virus (28 Days Later)
--Dallas
Britches and Hose
--Nashville
Merchant of Menace
Queen Loseyateefa
Amelia Scareheart
--Atlanta Dirty South

REFs
Conan the Vegetarian
The Panti-Christ

For a complete list of derby names (which are only awarded to team members, refs, coaches, and occasional other supporting members who meet specific qualifications, and must be unique) see go to http://www.twoevils.org/rollergirls/.

Some other links of note:
Official Magazine of Derby (you can download their first issue as a .pdf):http://fiveonfivemag.com/
Official Ouchy Care of WFTDA:http://www.drhauschka.com/rollerderby/ (homeopathic, natural, good for you and they work!)
Great tights/leggings: http://www.welovecolors.com
Used skates and other gear from fellow derby girls who have moved on or moved up: Second Hand Roller Derby
Hand-made Customizable Toe Guards: http://www.etsy.com/shop/BabyBitch and http://www.etsy.com/shop/derbyvixen
I got myself some some this weekend (unofficial booty wear of derby): http://derbyskinz.com/ 
(They make custom stuff, including non-derby gear--my hubby might have them make him a motorcycle helmet to boast of his derby widow status.)
I also got some orange toe guards and fun multicolored polka dot on black skate laces from http://www.derby4all.com/

Derby Inuendo 101: If you lose your nuts, you lose your trucks!

Our Skates 101 demo proved that even grown women can enjoy some dirty jokes. "Some girls like 'em loose, some girls like 'em tight" caused a cacophony of giggles, although slightly delayed compared to the reaction to all the talk about nuts.

Last night we got a break from the brutal off skates cross-fit style training, and got a lesson from one of the vets on how to care for (and upgrade!) our skates. It was really cool to learn all the ins and outs of skates that don't have Fisher Price or Barbie decorations (I disassembled a few of those in my day), but it mostly made me even more frustrated that mine haven't arrived.

For more helpful tips, check out http://missmisery101.blogspot.com/

The skate order (which the league put together for a pretty substantial discount for us, which is awesome) got hung up at customs and still hasn't arrived. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to have to use the rental skates for practice. They absolutely suck--I feel like I'm going to fall over when doing crossovers at full speed, they smell like someone peed in all of them, and they make it really difficult to do a lot of the things we're learning. Plus it makes it hard for me to accessorize appropriately if I can't see them before choosing my laces, toe guards, etc.

We learned baseball/figure four stops tonight (think sliding into home base), which are sort of ouchy on the hip. I imagine they were even worse for the handful of girls who didn't have tights on--I'm betting there are a few girls nursing rink rash this morning. This stop is not nearly as fun as the Rock Star, or even the four point fall. At least on those you get to slide on your knees (where there is adequate padding). :P

Nothing's Sexier than a Bunch of Girls Grabbing their Vags (or Girls have Groins Too)

Boot camp tonight was rough on a lot of us. There were many limpy girls hobbling off the track by the end of the night with various ailments. My knee tells me that it's gonna rain (or maybe that it's just not happy with all of the lunges, one knee falls and the likes), and I managed to pull my groin in a way that hurts from my, well, groin all the way down to my mid calf. I've got the ice pack on it, but I'm not sure how much good it's doing (a good bendy ice pack is a highly recommended derby accessory). Hurts so good.

I think a lot of us were lured into a false sense of security after the weekend of recovering. "One knee turns were easy," I thought to myself over the weekend, reveling in dreams of derby glory. "And I really nailed those crossovers!" (Yeah, I know, I already talked about those, but I'm still stoked.) But the reality of derby practice is if you don't keep your skate close to your knee on one knee falls, you'll pull your groin muscle. And if you don't sit back on two knee falls (aka rock star falls), you can take a lot of the impact in your elbows and shoulders (more aches and pains).

One of my favorite things about derby is the excuse to wear all of my crazily colored tights (and of course the excuse to buy more), although I'm gonna have to invest in some more clear nail polish, because the velcro on all of the pads is not kind to them. "Grown ups" are typically expected to stick to neutral colors when it comes to tights, but I really love bright colors, and funky patterns. The weird looks I occasionally draw from people when I show up at work wearing neon green tights don't deter me from busting them out, but it's a rare treat to get to accessorize them with short shorts and a neon rainbow I heart San Francisco t-shirt.

Despite all of the injuries, derby is still pretty rad. I'm closer to figuring out crossovers the "wrong" way (left footed ones), and I felt the same level of pumped-ness leaving. Tonight I was ready with some Ace of Base loaded on my iPod to rock out old school on the way home! I'm going to have to start constructing the ultimate post-derby playlist. Any suggestions?