MDL

At some point, and it's a little different point for everyone I think, derby changes a little.  There come a point when you stop making progress in leaps and bounds. Instead of the thrill of a great practice that has you jamming out to great music on the drive home, you think about the things you're not nailing, the things you're having trouble with. You worry about passing tests, and whether you'll make the team. Instead of looking forward to every practice, there are some nights that you really just want to go home and sit in the bathtub.

But it's still amazing.  And it's still fun to keep pushing yourself to get better. If I don't make the team, I'll ref, but I'm not giving up on making the team either.  I need a 3 or better on skills with a pack (I feel like I'll do okay on these--some of the hits I'm a little leery about landing, but I think it'll be good over all), and I need to get my time to 5:15 or less, which I can do if I don't fall. The written test I'm not worried about.  I've got it down pretty well--it's something I'm much more confident about. I can control whether or not I memorize rules and learn the ins and outs of the game; I can't always control whether I fall on my ass or not (other than working myself as hard as possible, working every practice on my weaknesses and technique so that even when I'm tired I've got good form).

Being in derby has given me the support I needed to be my own person, and to do some things that I have needed to do for years.  And I would never have gotten up the courage if it hadn't been for joining derby. It really is an amazing thing to be a part of.